A Satirical List for Those Earning the Patch the Hard Way
You Might Be a Prospect If…
If you’ve cleaned 14 bikes and still don’t know who half of them belong to…
If your ringtone is your patch holder’s voice yelling your name…
If you’ve ever woken up with Sharpie on your face and your vest folded neatly beside you…
If your “day off” means you only have to wrench on one bike instead of three…
If the words “Prospect! Over here!” trigger a mild panic attack…
If your back hurts from standing at attention for three hours while someone talked about his shovelhead build…
If you’ve memorized the coffee orders of every full-patch but still forget your own name sometimes…
If you’ve ever cleaned the same spot on a floor for 20 minutes because someone said “do it again”…
If you know the difference between a respectful nod and a “why the hell are you talking right now?” glare…
If you’ve learned that asking questions gets you answers like, “Figure it out, Prospect”…
If your idea of “club business” is whatever you’re told to carry, clean, fix, or shut up about…
If your gloves have more patchholder fingerprints than your own…
If your knees ache every time someone says “meeting starts in five”…
If your nickname is still just “Prospect” after 8 months and three nickname-worthy incidents…
If you’ve ever walked five blocks just to move a bike 20 feet for someone else…
If you’ve been “volunteered” to ride bitch on the supply run…
If your group chat name is “Shut Up Prospect”…
If you’ve spent more time at the clubhouse than your own home — and your dog doesn’t recognize you anymore…
If you’ve ever run out of gas and kept pushing the bike anyway ’cause you were told not to stop…
If you’ve learned more about discipline, loyalty, and humility than any job, church, or bootcamp ever taught you…
Then congratulations, kid…
You might be a Prospect.
And if you’re lucky — and humble — and stubborn enough to take the hits, do the work, and never, ever quit?
You might just make it to brother.